“Mommy is it weird if I play with my dollies like this?”
“Mommy is it weird if I drink my milk like this?”
“Mommy is it weird if I drink my water with this cup?”
These are the questions that my 4 year old daughter has been asking me for a month straight. After a while I found them to be quite annoying. They were so cute at first but now I’m so over it. These questions started when her two older sisters began to call her weird.
“Dylan, you are so weird.” They would say. At four years old she doesn’t really understand that they are just teasing her. It is normal for siblings to tease each other and because she is the youngest, she gets it two fold.
The results however is that she feels as if something is wrong with her. Weird to her is something negative. I understand what she must feel. I grew up feeling weird and out of place. I still feel like I do not fit in anywhere. I struggle on a daily basis with feelings of inadequacies and alienation. I wasn’t as a child given the tools ot deal with my uniqueness and so I grew up thinking something was wrong with me and, you know…of course I don’t have friends or people that like me because…I’m weird.
As I grew I learned being “weird” is not always a bad thing. There are plenty of people that are fine with my eccentricities. My husband of almost 10 years is still with me. (I think that says more abot him than me but…)
My daughter is being affected by these things at an early age She began to question every aspect of her life.
“Is it weird if I rubbed the cat this way?”
After months of this I finally set her down to have a talk. . I refused to let her go through what I went through and what I know I am still going through. She was on a roll that day with the marathon of weird questions so I explained to her that weird and unique are not terrible things.
“Sweetie,” I began with her on my lap. “Weird is not a bad thing. You just need to be yourself.”
She looked at me skeptically.
“Look,” I continued. “If it makes you feel better your mama is extremely weird.”
Her eyes widened
“Mommy, you’re weird too?” she asked.
I nodded. If only she knew how out of the norm and eccentric I could be.
“Yes sweetie. Mommy is crazy weird. Your mommy is Cray Cray.”
She laughed extremely tickled at my statement. Then she hopped off my lap. She ran down the hall screaming,”
“Mady! Guess what! You can call me weird because mommy is weird to.”
This scenario taught me a lot about parenting. I know I don’t have all the answers, and sometimes I wonder how in the world they allow me to have children under my supervision, but I know it is like to be a girl with low self-esteem about her body, her way of thinking and knowing someone is in your corner can go a long way. I teach my daughter’s that mommy may yell, I may have to discipline you, but I will always be here in your corner… Your weird crazy mother will always be there for you no matter how crazy you are.