In Defense of Sex

“’Sex’ is as important as eating or drinking and we ought to allow the one appetite to be satisfied with as little restraint or false modesty as the other.”  ~Marquis de Sade

We as a society are always talking about it, reading about it and watching it yet when it comes to sex we see it as something to be hidden. We view it as a taboo and as something that should not be enjoyed to the level as some people choose to enjoy it.

As an erotic romance writer, I find myself defending sex more than I thought I ever would. when I write, I don’t include sex for shock value. I acknowledge that sex is a part of relationships whether it be good or bad and I chose to show sex can cause all types of controversy between men and women. When I write about relationships why should I not include sex?

sex is naturalOf course, we wouldn’t be here if our parents did not have sex but most of what you hear about sex is false and misleading. Sex is awesome and a healthy part of humanity. It is not something that is only reserved for red-light districts or hidden away into the dark.

Questions that I am commonly asked about sex are…

  1. Do I condone porn?
  2. Do I think prostitution should be legal?
  3. Should sex be taught to kids of all ages?

Porn is not something that can be condoned. It is perfectly legal for someone to have sex on camera and produce it for people that would like to see it. The key to porn is that all members involved need to be adults. Those performing in the acts and those that are viewing them must be consenting adults. The only issue I would take up with pornography is the exploitation of young women and men and whether or not the industry is keeping people safe.

Prostitution has been a part of humanity for as long as we can remember. The issue with prostitution becomes the lack of safety for women and men. To legalize it in my opinion could make matters worse for people and could make exploitation of children worse.

When younger people are at an age where they begin to think about sex is when, yes, I believe they should be responsibly taught about it. If we do not teach our children about sex we are setting them up to be taught by those that wish to use them and take advantage of them. When my daughter hit puberty I had “the talk” with her and gave her information that will give her power over herself and her body. No one can tell her a lie and have her believe it because I have told her the truth about herself and about sex.

We know there are those that indulge in sex in a way that may be unsafe and harmful. They may put themselves in bad have sexsituations by not protecting themselves. Like everything in life, there are people that over indulge in sex, drugs and alcohol to a harmful extent. That will not change.

We cannot allow those people to dictate what sex means or diminish the importance of sex in our society. The same goes for religion. Religion makes sex seem dirty and immoral. It pushed sex to the dark corners of society. We cannot allow religion to dictate or tell us how to feel about sex. Sex is incredible and a healthy part of life and should be an amazing experience for us all on our own terms.

In my defense of sex, I have to say that sex is just as natural to us as eating, sleeping and breathing. It is a part of our experience for a reason and should be embraced as such.


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