I started watching this show called Girls. In the show the main character is an inspiring writer and does things in her life just for the experience. In one episode she snorted crack just so she would know what it felt like and have something to write about.
It reminded me of some feelings that I have had recently. Lately I have been in a writing rut. There has been a drought of epic proportions and it had me feeling anxious and a little depressed.
As every writer knows…when you are not writing you are driving yourself insane. I tried everything I could to not focus on the fact that I could not write. I began sewing…a lot. I sewed about three different sets of pajamas for my girls. They were happy but this writing momma was still depressed and it was only made worse when the guilt set in from the many blank pages of college ruled filler paper sitting before me.
Then I fell into a deeper depression wondering if the reason I was not writing was due to the fact that I had not lived enough. I mean, in 31 years I felt that I had not experienced life enough to write.
I was a child that didn’t take very many risks. I was doomed to be obedient to my parents and teachers alike. I had my secrets but I strived to be the perfect child. I was taken by my husband at 18 and have been with him every since. I had my first child at 23 and my life has been devoted to them. I have written several books yes, but I have been feeling lately that my writing lacks something.
There was no way I could try the things they portrayed in the TV show and there was very little time with three daughters to experience anything else besides laundry, making dinner and trying to find time to shower.
I talked over my feelings with someone in my life who gave me some advice. She told me that I could now be living or experiencing what I needed to write about in the future. She would know better than anyone. You see she is my therapist and she has had to listen to me bitch and moan about the issues I face. I feel she has made a valid point. I have so much of my life left to live and this drought will only be temporary.
There is a song by One Republic called I lived. I love that song. It reminds me that you have to take the good and the bad of life and those experiences help us as writers to tell stories that readers can relate to.
As the song goes…”I’ll own every second that this world can give.”
Then maybe I can get out of this rut and this drought and produce something more that is worth reading.