The Writer vs The 5 Yr Old
It’s a great thing that I’m a writer because my 5 year old tests my imagination every chance she gets. She is full of so many questions. Sometimes I don’t always come out on top. For example:
Battle #1: The Tooth Fairy
My 5 year old lost her bottom teeth. I told her that she needed to put the teeth under her pillow so the tooth fairy could take it and leave her some money.
Then the battle of the questions began.
5 Year Old: What does she look like? What does she do with all the teeth? Why does she need my teeth? Does she know we don’t live in Indiana anymore? How much money does she want to leave? How did she get into the house? Does she care what your teeth look like? How am I supposed to eat without two teeth? Does she give me two new teeth?
Me: The tooth fairy is a beautiful fairy with bright sparkly wings and long dark hair and carries a beautiful magic wand. Her dress is a beautiful and she is quiet enough so you would never know she was there. She recycles the teeth and gives them to the dentist so they can turn them into teeth for people that do not have any or have to have one removed. She doesn’t just take your teeth, she takes teeth fromeveryone who lose baby teeth. Yes she knows we no longer live in Indiana. She leaves whatever amount of money she wants to leave depending on the quality to the tooth she gets. She’s a magical being so she can get into any house. No she does not care what your teeth look like. She will take any tooth. You can eat without the two teeth and your new teeth will grow in.
The Writer: 1 The 5 yr old: 0
Battle #2: Santa Claus
It’s Christmas time and soon gifts will be going under the tree. No matter how many Christmases she experience there are always questions.
How long until Christmas is here. Why does Santa use reindeer? How does Santa get in our house? Does he know we moved? Are Jesus and Santa friends? Why is Santa watching all the time? Does he watch me in the bathroom? If he doesn’t watch me in the bathroom then I can do stuff in the bathroom and he won’t know about it? What do reindeer eat? Should we leave food out for them? Are we sure Santa isn’t allergic to peanut butter cookies? Do we know what his favorite cookies are? Why are there so many Santas? I see them at the mall and the store and on TV.
(I bought a large key this say “Santa we don’t have a chimney so use this key”)
How will Santa use that key? Isn’t it too big to fit in our lock?. What if bugs get on the key? Will Santa use it if bugs are on the key? Does Jesus come and leave gifts too? If it is Jesus’ birthday, do we need to buy him a gift?
The Writer: 0 The 5 yr old: 1
I could barely begin to answer all those questions. As a writer I felt like I was letting myself down. I realized that once I answer all those there are always more it is never ending. Most of the time I can come up something that satisfies her curiosity and though I hate to mislead my children, I want them to stay children for as long as they can until they are faced with the responsibility of being an adult.
Lately I have been encouraging her to answer those questions herself and then come back and tell me. It helps her use her own imagination and not to drain mine so I can write my novels because trust me…she can drain your brain.
But she is a very smart kid and if I tell her an answer to her question, she will ask me again just to see if I tell her the same thing. So I have to make my stories simple so they are easy to remember. The more the questions the closer I feel she is getting to not believing in those magical beings and that makes me sad to think about. It means she is growing up and I am not ready to see her grow up just yet.
In the mean time we will continue these battles. Mommy, the writer, just has to keep one step ahead.